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10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should
posted by Anonymous e-Mailer, Thursday, March 15, 2001
- AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj.
Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
- CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n.
The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
- DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v.
To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow "remove" all the germs.
- ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n.
The actions of two people manoeuvring for one armrest in a movie theatre.
- FRUST (frust) n.
The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
- LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n.
Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal" side.
- PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n.
The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.
- PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n.
The affliction of dialling a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
- PUPKUS (pup'kus) n.
The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
- TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.
The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
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