I followed Don's directions to a tee, and drove straight to the Shell filling station that he had described. I was expecting to have to call him at his parents' home, but was happily surprised to see him at the Shell garage filling the tank of his red BMW F650. The style was inimitable - the nonchalant, laid-back and effortless approach to life that my wife and I (and ESPECIALLY my wife!) have got to know and love since our friendship started on the Internet three years ago! I followed Don's cue, and filled the Escort's tank as well.

Don's parents lived just a few blocks away, and we were there in minutes (S 26°07'08,9" E 028°06'59,6"). Our aim was to collect Don's second motorcycle - a BMW R80G/S (affectionately known as "The Dog") - that was to be my steed for the day. As the gate to the driveway drew to the left, I caught my first glimpse of her in all her road-rashed glory...a rough gem if ever I've seen one.

"The Dog" and I first became acquainted in Gauteng in December 1998 when Donald, Hartmut von der Ohe and I did a wonderful ride in the eastern suburbs of Pretoria. Seldom have I had the pleasure of riding such a world-weary but well integrated and well behaved beast. I was definitely looking forward to straddling her once again!!

I met Donald's parents for the first time. His father is a retired gold mine explosives engineer, and it was therefore appropriate that the Massyn family still lives slap-bang in the middle of the gold reef that gives the Witwatersrand it's name. My mind started wandering, and I visualising a young Don Massyn in the garden shed, mixing chemicals to produce homemade explosives for his mates! Yes, I can certainly see Don as the "mad scientist" in his primary school days! ;-)

We geared up for the ride. Having just arrived from the Czech Republic a few days earlier, I was a little uncertain what kind of chill factor and weather to expect. The Massyn's allayed my fears, and I rode with only Levi's, t-shirt and leather jacket. This proved to be sage advice from the Massyns as it never rained, and the weather remained magnificent for the whole trip. God I love Africa!!

It was 10h00. Suitably fuelled, geared and psyched, Don led the way out of Edenvale. This was an excellent idea as my knowledge of Johannesburg highways, roads, streets and shortcuts is atrocious!! We got onto the highway and I started re-acquainting myself with "The Dog's" idiosyncrasies....gearbox as smooth as butter, floppy left-front indicator, inaccurate speedo, good wind-shielding from the mini-fairing, no scuttle or weave, lifting rear end under power (no "Paralever"), low slung and comfortable ride height (i.e. no beefy White Power shock absorber), and shitty brakes (like all GS's). Pretty damn good for a 1983 model!!

We made our way through the eastern edge of the Witwatersrand megalopolis...a maze if ever there was one. Occasionally I recognised places or features, but would be lying to you if I admitted to knowing where the hell I was!! By 10h30 we were well and truly in the countryside, and I was re-awakened to the wonderful sights and smells of Africa. With the first rains of spring having recently fallen, the first shoots of green were starting to show through the tinder-dry bush and grass. The clouds were dramatic, the soil was characteristically red, the smells were heady, and the sun was bright and warm. I was home, and it felt so comfortable!

Forty-five kilometres into our ride Don broke to the right, taking us onto our first dirt road of the day. By African standards, it was very well prepared. Fairly recently graded, wide, corrugated, and a deep ochre colour. Both the F and the GS handled the bone-shaking surface pretty well. A twist of the right-hand grip quickly corrected and forgave driver errors and miscalculations. Rooster tails and dust at 120 km/h. Wonderful!! I stayed locked in behind Don, and was really eating Africa!! Yeeeee-Haaaaaa!!!

I guess Don thought that it was all getting too easy because, the next thing I knew, we had taken a dirt-track to the right and were careering down a 3rd grade bush road that was memorable for its rocks, stones, ruts, potholes, cattle grids, gates and other assorted obstructions!! This was more fun than the road we had just left! Goddamn!!

Don had clearly done this all before. A few kilometres down the road he throttled back, pulled over and - ever the aspirant "Camel Man" - lit up a soothing cigarette. "After action satisfaction" as the Lexington radio advert from the 60's and 70's used to proclaim!! It was a perfect photo opportunity (S 25°56'35,7" E 027°45'40,5").

After I had heeded the call of nature, we retraced our route back to the primary dirt road (Don knew that the track we were on was soon to join a tarred road, and heaven forbid we should waste our time on asphalt!! Back at the main road we turned right, heading in the direction we were going before our "Camel Man" detour. The road was broad and the surface was temptingly loose....I couldn't resist the temptation, and decided to play a little! ROOSTER TAIL....I sprayed red soil to the left as I pointed the bike starboard and the tail surged to the left. A little opposite lock counteracted the grunt of the 800....and I was grinning with glee!

A few kilometres down the road we stopped for another brief photo call - a lion and rhino park at S 25°58'24,4" E 027°47'25,3". I'm sure that international visitors to my site will enjoy this shot.

Back to the asphalt, and the next stop was a place I had never visited before - the Sterkfontein Caves (S 26°00'57,8" E 027°44'09,5").

Follow the links below to read two articles from The Sunday Independent of September 26, 1999, that highlight the significance of the Sterkfontein Caves

I was on a quest for the "Great South African Snack" - a (meat) pie with gravy!! If there was anywhere I thought that I would find this South African delicacy it was here, in the old style tea-room at the Sterkfontein Caves. Unfortunately I was to be disappointed...as I had been earlier in the week...this old African staple seems to be dying out. I settled for a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich.

Don and I went on the grand tour of the Sterkfontein Caves, and it was a great deal of fun. The tour guide was excellent - an old timer who had grown up in the caves. This diminutive, wrinkled man with sparkling eyes that neutralised his age, assumed the persona of "Mr Ples", clearly taking the Mickey out of his advanced age. His step was lively, his conversation was chirpy, and he was certainly clued up on his palaeontology and the history of the caves. What made this guy even more fun was that he had the driest sense of humour (in both English and Afrikaans) that I have experienced in a long time!!

Mrs Ples And Family Will Be Tourist Horde's Delight (p.3)

Homo Shilowus Sees Tourist's Buck In Handyman's Bony Glare (p.8)

The Sterkfontein Caves are well worth a visit. As they have been visited and exploited for almost 100 years, they are showing signs of wear and tear. Particularly sad is the way in which stalagmites and stalactite were broken off many years ago as part of a mining operation. Windows were also cut into the ceiling of the caves and this has led to a gradual drying process. At the same time, rain patterns have changed this century, and the Witwatersrand is receiving far less rain than it did in the past. As a consequence of these two factors, no new stalagmites and stalactites are being formed (in the public sections of the cave complex). There are large underground sections that are closed to the general public, and they are apparently magnificent.

The Sterkfontein cave complex is also known as the "Cradle Of Man", and archaeological excavations are ongoing. The work started by Robert Broom continues, and Australopithecus Africanus continues to emerge from the stone. Fascinating stuff!

Don decided that it was time for a change...I think that he just wanted to get back onto "The Dog". We swapped bikes and I got my first feel of an F650 in over two years. On the ride past the Lanseria airport turnoff and the CSIR's deep space research and Satellite Application Centre (SAC) at Hartebeeshoek, I started noting how the F650 differs from the R80G/S.

The first thing I noted was a feeling of being perched on top of the motorcycle. The F seemed higher than the GS, although in reality I doubt whether this is the case. Maybe it's just that the F is lighter than the GS and the centre of gravity seems to be higher. My second impression was that "anyone can ride this bike". The suspension and frame is so effective that there is almost a disconnect with the road. On the GS, one feels every stone, every rut and the texture of the surface one happens to be traversing. On the F, one glides effortlessly over everything...disconnected from the reality of motorcycling. I imagine that one would get a similar feeling driving one of BMW's clinical motor cars! This loss of contact, coupled with the lightness of the F almost got me into difficulty on the next section of gravel road that Don took us to. Feeling safe and secure on the F, I tended to approach corners far too quickly. On the G/S I seldom have this problem - the "positive" feel ensures that one knows exactly what's coming when heading into a big, slippery corner!

It was on these slippery corners that I noted another BIG difference - the F's brakes actually work! Sometimes too well as I locked up the rear on a few occasions. Becoming more familiar with the bike two other things differentiated it from the GS - it's a LOT quieter (in fact it just whistles along) and the rear view mirrors are more effective. Although the mirrors are "good", I don't like their positioning. They are set very high and tended to "get in my face"...which I found a quite irritating.

In summary then, I believe that the GS is a more challenging motorcycle to ride, but it's weight, "grunt" and physical presence compensate for that. I think that the F is an easy bike to ride. It's nimble and light, but the ride is somewhat "clinical". I found the "disconnect" from the road just a little disconcerting! It's a fun motorcycle nevertheless...and it probably goes faster than the G/S ;-)) But then again, perhaps I'm just an old fart!

On we rode...getting ever closer to the Magaliesberg range of mountains that cuts across Gauteng province. Don had led us onto a wonderful dirt road, leaving me in a cloud of dust trying to fathom the idiosyncrasies of the F650!! Initially I felt insecure, but after five minutes of intense of concentration (and taking corners very gingerly) I had it taped, and started to enjoy the scenery.

This section took us to the foothills of the Magaliesberg mountain range. The road was windier than earlier, and was also more dusty. We also encountered some traffic. There were some cool, long flat sections as well where we really burned gas! Yeeee-Haaa!! The adrenaline of speed and the freedom of the open road is part of what makes biking so much fun.

Photo opportunity! On a sweeping left hand curve I pulled over to shoot a few pictures and to heed the call of nature (S 25°52'27,5" E 027°29'37,0"). Alan Krueger of the Pommern-List may be interested to see the name on the farm signboard - Kruger is a common name in South Africa.

The next stretch took us up the rocky mountain road, and to the highest point of our ride (S 25°51'49,8" E 027°26'33,1"). Another photo shoot for me, and a smoke break for Don who explained that we were on top of the "Witwatersrand", the section of the Magaliesberg range that gives this region of Gauteng it's name. The view was great, and the weekend 4X4 drivers were a joke!

Down the other side of the Witwatersrand we went. At least Don seemed to know where he was going! Within 10 minutes we were back on the tar and, after a short stretch, pulled over at the Tree Tops Farm Stall that Don had obviously visited before. Nestled between a vegetable patch and a copse of trees, the painted wooden shack was the haunt of a small troop of vervet monkeys. As Don bought some homemade jam (and the proprietor commented on how wonderful it must be to ride a motorcycle on a great day like today), I sat poised with camera waiting for a monkey to mount a BMW. Success! - Don got back into the saddle of the 650 ;-)

The leg that followed took us into tourist turf - the area surrounding the Hartebeespoort Dam. The traffic was a nightmare. As we approached the last section of road before the dam wall, the pressure of people became oppressive. In the years that I've been out of South Africa this piece has really become a commercialized tourist trap. Curios, curios and more curios! The rain forests of central Africa must be depleting rapidly. Very sad.

We filled our tanks at the shiny new filling station, and turned away from the dam wall, heading for the (once?) exclusive waterside settlement called Kosmos. My university friends and I used to come here for wild wining, windsurfing and womanizing weekends back in the early 80's. Phew!! Bottles of "Old Brown Sherry" in the Jacuzzi, sun, water hyacinth, and endless braai's (barbecue's)!

The road to Kosmos was familiar, except for the plague of high-security, waterfront boating and golfing residential complexes that seem to have become so popular in South Africa. One thing that had not changed in over 25 years was the "Stywe Lyne" tea room (25°44'37,6" E 027°50'30,0")!! This gastronomic dive is a relic of the late-60's/early-70's (an era before television in South Africa) when people used to go out and get wasted at the local dive, perhaps watching a movie, or joining in the local dance. Well, the décor and slate floor certainly hadn't changed - it was a flashback to a long-gone era.

"Stywe Lyne" is Afrikaans for tight lines - a reference perhaps to the fishing origins of the tearoom. Don and I were the only people there and sat at one of the tables on the outdoor terrace overlooking the Hartebeespoort Dam. We didn't talk much�and I drifted back to the 70's and 80's when "Stywe Lyne" had been the venue for many motorcycling get-togethers. Bike "gangs" with names like Scorpio and Satan's Slaves used to hang out here, and I vaguely remembered cocktails of Klipdrift Brandy, cheap red wine and brake fluid�really! I understand that it is still the rendezvous point for the weekly Sunday "Breakfast Run" on the Witwatersrand. I wonder if the characters and the wild parties have changed? I doubt it!!

Steak, eggs and chips. Greasy! Good roadhouse fare washed down with a pot of sweet tea. I shot off a few frames of the bikes - it's actually quite a picturesque site come to think of it. Time to go. It had to happen of course - the G/S battery was as dead as a Dodo, and I did not have the finesse to kick the bitch to life! Don, of course, watched me build up a sweat, and then obliged in one kick!

We traced our tracks back to the main road, turned left and circumnavigated Hartebeespoort Dam with the water to port. It was a fast piece - excellent surface, little traffic and meandering. Close to Johannesburg we passed two guys on R1100GS's; I gave them a wave, but the yuppie scum decided that they were better than that and did not respond. Arseholes. No manners at all.